Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in gunhand's LiveJournal:

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Friday, March 20th, 2009
11:41 pm	Caring sucks I have come to the conclusion that caring about someone is for the birds, it is better not to give a rat's ass about people, thus you have no reason to open your mouth and give an opinion on a situation. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 2nd, 2009
8:09 pm	Ever had a hard time giving a rat's ass about anything? That is the space I have been in for the past couple of months, and it is getting worse. First, I have tami's brother here who is a practicing (i say professional) alcoholic. The house is falling apart. Tami has her daughter here, which is okay, but well, Insane Clown Posse says it all.... Tami and Waelon finally got married. And I could really care less if the world got hit by an asteroid the size of Rhode Island. Actually, I might care enough to get ground zero impact seats to watch the end of the world. Piss poor attitude dont ya think? And dont tell me to call my shrink, I talked to her after peeling a 5 square inch chunk of skin off my left fore arm out of boredom. And to make everything really come together, this is the second anniversary of my mom's death. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
12:50 pm	Obscenity and the English Language.... Alright people, I have a major question to ask you, so listen up and take notes. I have grown quite tired of the over use of basic terms in the English language, especially since the majority of people have no clue as to what they really mean. FUCK, originally used as a military term meaning "Fornication Under Consent of King." In other words, when a soldier had finished all his daily duties, he was allowed to seek the company of a camp follower. Nigger Used as a disparaging term for a member of any socially, economically, or politically deprived group of people, not just negros. However, at one time the word meant 'backward, uneducated' which meant that anyone regardless of race could be called one. As the times changed, so did the word meanings. Shit: "split, divide, separate." Related to shed (v.) on the notion of "separation" from the body (cf. L. excrementum, from excernere "to separate"). It is thus a cousin to science and conscience. The noun is O.E. scitte "purging;" sense of "excrement" dates from 1585, from the verb. Despite what you read in an e-mail, "shit" is not an acronym. The notion that it is a recent word may be because the word was taboo from c.1600 and rarely appeared in print (neither Shakespeare not the KJV has it), and even in "vulgar" publications of the late 18c. it is disguised by dashes. It drew the wrath of censors as late as 1922 ("Ulysses" and "The Enormous Room"), scandalized magazine subscribers in 1957 (a Hemingway story in "Atlantic Monthly") and was omitted from some dictionaries as recently as 1970 ("Webster's New World"). Extensive slang usage; verb meaning "to lie, to tease" is from 1934; that of "to disrespect" is from 1903. Noun use for "obnoxious person" is since at least 1508; meaning "misfortune, trouble" is attested from 1937. Shat is a humorous past tense form, not etymological, first recorded 18c. Shite, now a jocular or slightly euphemistic variant, formerly a dialectal variant, reflects the vowel in the O.E. verb (cf. Ger. scheissen). Shit-faced "drunk" is 1960s student slang; shit list is from 1942. To not give a shit "not care" is from 1922; up shit creek "in trouble" is from 1937. Scared shitless first recorded 1936. bitch    /bɪtʃ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [bich] Show IPA Pronunciation –noun 1. a female dog. 2. a female of canines generally. 3. Slang. a. a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman. b. a lewd woman. And since a dog in heat has no morals...... The point is that obscenity has changed over the decades. Words have lost original meanings and gained others, and even vary between countries. So, next time you think of being vulgar, just remember if you tell someone to go fuck themselves, they really cant do it unless they have the consent of a royal..... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 24th, 2008
9:30 pm	SOMEBODY better tell me why that this crap is allowed to happen!!!! Monday, Tami, (sister of choice, former care giver for mom) gets a call from her daughter Ashley, aka Gizzy. Gizzy was in tears, wouldnt tell me what was going on, since neither of us could reach tami on cell phone. Finally, she made the slip and said she would not tell me because I would take her boyfriend's side. My response: Try me She then explained that boyfriend finally got tired of waiting until her doctor decided it was safe to put her back on birth control, and pushed the issue... which she said made it feel like she had been raped all over again. I then learn that the local PD will not pursue cases of this type because it is a 'he said, she said.' Case and hard to prove. Sis tami is on way to PA to get Gizzy. Sis tami would not let me go along even though I made arrangements for my daughter and her life partner to stay with the dogs. Now, it could have something to do with the fact I was packing a billy club (watch ww2 movie, it is that short club MP's carry) and a straight razor (I have a full beard) Of course, there are two nice rivers there, the Lehigh and the Delaware, but I dont have a suit case large enough for a chainsaw. In case any of you have not figured it out, I feel that child molesters, rapists, and sexual predators of any type should be exterminated. Current Mood: enraged (Comment on this)
Friday, August 8th, 2008
12:47 pm	Genetic update... or what more useless tidbits of info I have gleaned from my ancestor search... Look, I have no problem being related to crooks, rebels, malcontents, political activists, BUT, to be related to a mealy mouthed wuss of a post roman king in Britain really messes with my demeanor. I happen to be a descendant of Vortigern, that screw up Briton king that invited the saxons in as mercenaries. Of course, I am also related to his son in law Ambrosius (not merlin's dad either.) Now Ambrosius had a son in law named Arto (welsh for Arthur) who was a war lord, and probably a source for King Arthur the goody two shoes. Now, these two kicked saxon butt at baden hill, then did a number on gutless wonder. I have found out that Robert and Guy De Sheldonne, were actually De Shelton, and that they (the family had been in Norfolk and Suffolk counties since the romans, if not before) now if I can find out who the family line is. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
10:23 pm	Apologies Sorry for the long absence, but I have been deeply involved with some personal research... i.e I be tracing my roots. Usually there is nothing wrong with that except that we are talking about a history major here. I have found out some interesting things in this research, for one, there is a maternal line on my father's side that traces back to the Merovingians. (if you believe the stuff in the book "the Di Vinci Code" then it means I am of the bloodline of Christ) There is a maternal line that traces back to Alfred the great, another through William the Bastard, aka William the Conqueror, still another traces back through the Plantagenet Line. There is a welsh branch that is related to Myrddin Wyllt, a madman and prophet, aka Merlinus Caledonensis. Myrddin was actually a real person, born sometime around AD 540, who went mad after some battle and ran off to live in the woods with the animals, there to discover he was a prophet. However, I have, I think, figured out just why I am so crazy. Due to the unique mixture of genetics, there are branches of the family that supported William the conqueror, and fought against him... There are branches of the family that supported the Plantagenet Lines of kings, and there are branches, particularly Welsh, who fought against them. In other words, me genes is trying is in a constant state of argument that cannot be conducive to maintaining sanity. And here I was blaming Mara.... Funny thing though, the Shelton line can be traced back to a Robert De Sheldonne, a Norman who fought along side William the conqueror. It is weird because he is listed as Lord Robert De Sheldonne, which means he was a man of rank. And if a man of rank was a follower and supporter of William the Conqueror, you would think there would be some trace of the line in Normandy, however there is not. When you research the surname, it means literally, 'from the valley.' It is a place name, which indicates the possibility of a blacklisted family from France. (the French kings were fond of doing this) Any way, that has been why I have not been around much on LJ. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 2nd, 2008
5:40 pm	And they call me crazy Earlier today, I was in my room contemplating the meaning of life in respect to the universe (okay, I was procrastinating on cleaning my room and doing laundry,) when it dawned on me that humanity cannot be the highest form of life on this planet. My reasoning is simple: 1) we are the only species that kills ourselves all week in order to receive a paycheck that is usually already spent on something. 2) humans are the only species that will purposely go out and get bombed on mind and mood altering chemicals on the pretense that "We deserve it." Granted, I did my share of drinking and drugging and discovered that there really were no 'benefits' and to be honest, if I deserved the results, I was not really a life form that deserved to exist. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
11:04 pm	2008 Election, or another year of BS First off, I didnt like Bill and Hillary Clinton when Bill was in office, first because they didnt put their financial holdings into a trust after the election and did so only after making a killing off their health care related stocks, right before they announced sweeping health care reforms. Plus, I have a problem with Hillary wearing that 'stand by my man' smile after she has been cheated on who knows how many times. She would have looked better if she would have filed for divorce, left his ass and ran for office then. At least she would look like she has some common sense. Obama seems to have a good head on his shoulders, even seems to have the idea that things can be better for everyone, without ripping the country apart to get there. Jim McCain? Oh, Please! Do you really think a real honest to god war hero is going to stand up and do something about Iraq? Christ, this guy will probably decide to attack Iran for good measure. Yeah I served in the army, but I have a major problem with presidents who use the military to enforce political pressure over seas. Personally, I think we would be better off having some one that is a total unknown to anyone, a real wild card. Someone with the perfect poker face, that no one can even guess when he is bluffing and when he is serious. The kind of guy that would wear mirrored sunglasses to a meeting with a foreign head of state. The kind of person that would look across a negotiating table and say, "Screw you, this is bullshit and you and I both know it. Either tell the truth or get the f*ck out of here!" And then as the foreign leader is thinking that one over, this kind of president would call up the Joint Chiefs and ask "What do we have near such and such, and how soon can we attack? Oh, it technically aint a sneak attack, their president is right here. He just cant tell anyone." Then give the poor slob a few minutes to sweat. In other words, a person that knows how to bluff, and when to turn the bluff into reality. Kinda like JFK during the missile crisis. A President that would know how to use EMP as a weapon, to knock out everything in a hostile or rogue nation. There are alternatives to nukes to do this by the way. It would beat sending troops in on the ground. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
1:03 am	Love, money or power.... Okay, Shrink Lady asked me what I would want of those three items. I have had love, money and lost both, as for power, who needs it. So I told shrink lady "None of the Above," I also told her, "all I want is contentment and peace and quiet. Dont see the need for anything else." A zen monk can be happy with four walls and a roof. 180 years ago, a plains indian could be happy with a good horse and open range. Today, people are driven by the all mighty dollar, the trophy wife or husband, and the ability to ruin someone. Well, in the end, that philosophy is gonna destroy this rock. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 10th, 2008
8:10 pm	Time flies when you are having..... Its been 28 years since High School, 23 years since the army, and that is enough of the timeline to consider at this point. All I can say is that during that time, I have not done one damn thing that I will be remembered by. (Which is probably a good thing) I spent a life time trying to stay below radar, (of course, some of that was because of SOP) and definitely avoiding any possible situations that could possibly bring attention to myself. I have more memories that are nightmares than most people, more aches and pains than I should have, and probably a couple of fears that many people wouldn't understand. In a hundred years, I will be forgotten, but my blood will pass on to my kids, which is good enough. Granted, there are a few things that will be passed down the generations that will shed some light on my existence, but very little in what I lived for or believed in. I could say that there are a few people who's lives I touched although they have no clue as to who I am, the families of the people I dispatched with great efficiency while wearing army green. I have alienated a few people, lost friends along the way, buried a few, and pissed off a whole lot of people, (fuck 'em) and lived my life by my own rules. So, after careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that should anyone, anywhere find some screwed up reason to put up something to remember me for, I am gonna come back and haunt them! I will materialize when they are trying to have sex and critique style and performance, I will appear out of their hood when driving, I will haunt their descendants for 100 generations, allowing each generation to father or give birth to one more generation before beginning my campaign to drive them insane and to the point they join the ranks of the corporeally impaired. After which time, I will move on to enjoying my ghostly existence by haunting the future's equivalent of the play boy mansion. Anyone with a problem with this, speak up, I dare you, because I will haunt your life as well.... By the way, please remember, exorcism only works on demons, as a ghost I cant be gotten rid of that way. In fact, unless I want to go, I dont have to! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 24th, 2008
10:48 pm	Alright, it is a bad thing when doc and I are thinking the same thing. I was watching a crime show tonight on cable, it dealt with the criminal mind, a shrink says he has found all the evil forms in the human psyche. I wouldnt know, but I think that anyone that preys on women and children isnt evil, they are just not human, and as such, should be put down like any other dangerous animal. Before you people start screaming about criminal rights, let me ask this... How many of YOU have been the first on the scene for an assault on female call? That call comes out from dispatch you actually pray that it is some boyfriend who hit his girlfriend or a domestic dispute. When you get there you find out it isn't. Some bastard has raped and beaten some woman, girl, and left her. He has taken something from her that will never fully return. Or you are called to check a report of a body off some county road... and find a DB of a woman who has been sexually assaulted. And when the guy is caught, he gets a light sentence because of the prisons being overcrowded. Look people, with DNA, modern forensics, all that wonderful new science, we can get someone dead to rights. No possibility of a mistake. So instead of sending the guy to prison, after the trial, we take him out front of the courthouse and tie him to a post and proceed to shoot him like a rabid dog. Then dump the body in a land fill. Of course, there have been serial rapists/killers, like the green river rapist up in the northwest, who preyed on prostitutes. Some women in the area during that period openly said the prostitutes where asking for it. Bullshit. No woman asked to be raped. Recently, a dancer at one of the local strip bars was attacked, and she was able to fight off her attacker. He was later arrested at the Emergency Room, (his intended victim was a black belt in judo.) While he was arrested and charged, and he even confessed to the crime, our wonderful Christian women very loudly placed the blame on the dancer. And I have to admit, this woman's character was far from perfect, I mean she was ex-army, trained medic, three tours in Iraq, going to school to get her civilian EMT certifications, shaking her butt to try and make enough money to keep going till she finishes. Please note the sarcasm in the above paragraph. She comes back to her home town, cant find a decent job, discovers her military training dont count for crap, and she has to find some way to make a living. I find the double standard in this country appalling. Nice woman gets raped in her home, it was a criminal pervert who did it. Anyone else and they asked for it. And these are Christians who are saying it. What happened to "He who is without sin cast the first stone?" I know some of these holier than thou ladies around here. And believe me, 20 years ago, they were anything but pure as the driven snow. Hell, a lot of em werent even as pure as muddy water. At least one of em could do things that required such agility and dexterity, as well as being limber that most professional exotic dancers couldnt even come close to. (she proved it was possible to have sex in the back seat of a 67 camaro ss.) And anyone that knows anything about the 67 camaro knows that playboy once rated the back seat as a birth control device. So, to all the males out there who read this, if it comes to raping a woman or blue balls, go home with the blue balls. Forget the date rape drugs, the alcohol, and every other trick you may consider. If she says no, take it at no unless she suddenly turns around and rips your clothes off your body. As for you holier than though friends of mine who read my blog, and you know who you are, how would you like me to ask, in front of your teenage daughter if you ever got that birth mark removed? Or comment about your dimples, when you know you dont have em on your face? Or maybe I should just tell them not to do the things their mother did at their age. And no, it is not because I want to ruin our friendship, it is because, like me, you are not above reproach. We were a wild bunch back then. We grew up, some of us took longer, and some of us didnt grow up in time. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 17th, 2008
9:06 pm	From the "We cant make this up" files Just south of here is a little West Texas town of Eldorado, actually, it is more south west of here. It is in Tom Green County. Now, a branch sect, referred to as a renegade Mormon splinter group, of which the leader is in prison in Utah for making an underage girl marry an older man, is now in court to regain custody of their children. Polygamist sect hearing in Texas descends into farce By MICHELLE ROBERTS, Associated Press SAN ANGELO, Texas - A court hearing to decide the fate of the 416 children swept up in a raid on a West Texas polygamist sect descended into farce Thursday, with hundreds of lawyers in two packed buildings shouting objections and the judge struggling to maintain order. The case — clearly one of the biggest, most convoluted child-custody hearings in U.S. history — presented an extraordinary spectacle: big-city lawyers in suits and mothers in 19th-century, pioneer-style dresses, all packed into a courtroom and a nearby auditorium connected by video. At issue was an attempt by the state of Texas to strip the parents of custody and place the children in foster homes because of evidence they were being physically and sexually abused by the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, a renegade Mormon splinter group suspected of forcing underage girls into marriage with older men. As many feared, the proceedings turned into something of a circus — and a painfully slow one. By late afternoon only two witnesses had testified, and both only to lay the foundation for documents to be admitted. One witness, a state trooper, was cross-examined by dozens of attorneys, each of them asking the same question on behalf of a child or parent. As the afternoon dragged on, no decisions had been made on the fate of any of the youngsters. Additional details on life at the ranch began to emerge as child welfare investigator Angie Voss testified. She said that if one of the men fell out of favor with the FLDS, his wives and children would be reassigned to other men. The children would then identify the new man as their father. Voss said that contributed to the problem of identifying children's family links and their ages. Texas District Judge Barbara Walther struggled to keep order as she faced 100 lawyers in her 80-year-old Tom Green County courtroom and several hundred more participating over a grainy video feed from an ornate City Hall auditorium two blocks away. The hearing disintegrated quickly into a barrage of shouted objections and attempts to file motions, with lawyers for the children objecting to objections made by the parents' attorneys. When the judge sustained an objection to the prolonged questioning of the state trooper, the lawyers cheered. Upon another objection about the proper admission of medical records of the children, the judge threw up her hands. "I assume most of you want to make the same objection. Can I have a universal, `Yes, Judge'?" she said. In both buildings, the hundreds of lawyers stood and responded in unison: "Yes, Judge." But she added to the chaos as well. Walther refused to put medical records and other evidence in electronic form, which could be e-mailed among the lawyers, because it contained personal information. A courier had to run from the courthouse to the auditorium delivering one document at a time. "We're going to handle this the best we can, one client at a time," Walther said. Little evidence had been admitted by late afternoon. The first attempt to admit evidence resulted in an hourlong recess while all the lawyers examined it. The rest of the morning was spent in arguments about whether to admit the medical records of three girls, two 17-year-olds and one 18-year-old. Department of Public Safety Sgt. Danny Crawford testified to DPS's discovery of a church bishop's records taken from a safe at the ranch that listed about 38 families, some of them polygamous and some that included wives 16 or 17 years old. But under repeated cross-examination, Crawford acknowledged the records contained no evidence of sexual abuse. The sect came to West Texas in 2003, relocating some members from the church's traditional home along the Utah-Arizona state line. Its prophet and spiritual leader, Warren Jeffs, is in prison for forcing an underage girl into marriage in Utah. Voss testified that through their interviews with girls at the ranch, investigators believed there was a pattern of underage girls given in marriage to older men. Voss said that if the prophet told the girl to marry or to lie the girl would do as instructed. "If the prophet told her to lie she would because the prophet received all his messages from the Heavenly Father," Voss said. State officials asked the judge for permission to conduct genetic testing on the children and adults because of difficulty sorting out the sect's tangled family relationships and matching youngsters with their parents. The judge did not immediately rule. Amid the shouting and chaos among the lawyers, who came from around Texas to represent the children and parents free of charge, dozens of mothers sat timidly in their long cotton dresses, long underwear even in the spring heat, and braided upswept hair. In the satellite courtroom, hundreds of people strained to see and hear a large projector set up on the auditorium's stage. But the feed was blurry and barely audible. "I'm not in a position to advocate for anything," complained Susan Hays, the appointed attorney for a 2-year-old sect member. Outside, where TV satellite trucks lined the street in front of the courthouse's columned facade, a man who said he was an FLDS father waved a photo of himself surrounded by his five children, ranging from a baby to a child of about 9. "Look, look, look," the father said. "These children are all smiling, we're happy." Walther signed an emergency order nearly two weeks ago giving the state custody of the children after a 16-year-old girl called an abuse hot line claiming her husband, a 50-year-old member of the sect, beat and raped her. The girl has yet to be identified. Authorities raided their compound April 3 in the nearby town of Eldorado — a 1,700-acre ranch with a blindingly white limestone temple and log cabin-style houses — and began collecting documents and disk drives that might provide evidence of underage girls being married to adults. The children, who are being kept in a domed coliseum in San Angelo, range in age from 6 months to 17 years. Roughly 100 of them are under 4. FLDS members deny children were abused and say the state is persecuting them for their faith. The judge must weigh the allegations of abuse and also decide whether it is in the children's best interest to be placed into mainstream society after they have been told all their lives that the outside world is hostile and immoral. If the judge gives the state permanent custody of the children, the Texas child services agency will face the enormous task of finding suitable homes. It will also have to decipher brother-sister relationships so that it can try to preserve them. Over the past two weeks, the agency has relied on volunteers to help feed the children, do their laundry and provide crafts and games for them. Gov. Rick Perry would not say how much the case is costing the state, but said: "Does the state of Texas have the resources? Absolutely we do." Now, at this point, my question is, what did you expect? Every ambulance chasing big city lawyer has jumped into this with both feet smelling big bucks or some bit of the spotlight. In the United States, those trained in the law do not think of those who have suffered, or may be suffering, they think of their wallets. Personally, I think they should allow time for the proper authorities to sift through the records kept by the church and then hold hearings, on an individual case by case basis. Also, every lawyer not from Tom Green County or the immediate surrounding counties, or even the state of Texas should be taken out and horse whipped before being tarred and feathered and dragged through a cactus patch. Then make em walk home. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 6th, 2008
8:43 pm	Apathy Okay, so it wasnt allergies...... The problem was uncontrolled hypertension, anxiety, and my heart was working too hard. So my BP was 212/123. Big deal. It isnt as if I didnt know I had high blood pressure. The truth of the fucking matter was that i just didnt care. Oh yeah, I did a face plant in the ER. Tami wanted me checked for my breathing. So I was out cold for about six minutes, is there anything really wrong with that? Besides, who gives a flying fuck about a has been old cowboy who is past his prime and useless? (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
4:41 pm	God I hate being mortal Once more I have discovered, much to my dismay, that I am not ten foot tall and bullet proof. What led to this discovery you might ask.... Simple, when I was young i sang live and let live... never mind that is a Paul McCartney tune, I had allergy related asthma. From the time I was 5 until I was ten, I carried a rescue inhaler along with the epinephrine self injector on the offhand chance that I lost an argument with a bee, wasp, hornet, or any related flying insect type thingies. Turned ten, and suddenly no more asthma attacks. Thus began a long and sordid life in high school football and backseat cheerleader wrestling, rodeo, buckle bunny wrestling.... A stint in the US Army... GO AIRBORNE! etc etc etc.... Okay, a week ago I woke up from a nightmare and couldn't breathe. Okay fine, bad dream, anxiety attack, all over and done with right? WRONG!!!!! Since then I have been basically dealing with one attack right after the other. Tracking down the cause was driving me nuts, and the fact that I am admittedly overweight and a smoker basically gave few of my house mates a reason to try and solve the mystery. First it was suggested "CLEAN YOUR DAMN ROOM UP MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR" from tami. Misha and Mike was waiting for me to end up in ICU or the loony farm so they could take over my digs, (Although I think Shadow and Lucky had a prior claim, hell they wont let me into my bed at night) So, dusted the shelves, books, submarine, computer, cleaned my desk, (no the world WILL not fucking end) vacuumed the floor, shampooed the carpet, etc etc. Well, the situation improved... until I stood in front of my closet. Can we say... FADE TO BLACK? Closet was full of dust... clothes that no one wears, covered with dust.... So, I nearly go down, tami covers the closet opening with plastic after I sweep all the cobwebs etc off the ceiling and walls, (no, she does not love me enough like a brother to do that for me... personally I think she had a bet with Misha and Mike on how long it would take for me to fold up) Well, closet is now sealed with plastic, staples, and will soon get a duct tape edge dressing. I can breathe in my room again... AND ONCE MORE, IT SUCKS TO BE MORTAL! Current Mood: cynical (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
8:06 pm	We are cursed There is a curse, "may you live in strange times." Well, the times are strange and getting stranger, I expect for time to sneak into weird soon. In Texas, they are trying to figure out how to structure elective christian education classes. The rest of the country is watching Hilary and Obama act like idiots, or John McCain prove he is an idiot. (Comment on this)
2:12 am	Dateline: Twilight Zone I dont know what else to call it. But, it just aint natural. You see, our five dogs will go outside, frolic, do their business, and usually we leave the door open for them to come back in. On rare occasions when it is cool or rainy, we do not follow this routine, instead we call them in after a few minutes. Now for the strange part. The times that they wish to be stubborn and not come in while you stand in the door getting wet or frozen, I resort to another tactic, and why the hell it works I have no clue. All I have to say is, "I am gonna tell mama!" and they come running like the devil was after them. If tami is not home, I pick up the handset to my phone and tell them, "I am gonna call mama at work and tell her you not coming in like you have been told." Again, they come running. Now considering that none of them have been punished for refusing to come in, unless they have actually gotten out of the yard, why this implied threat works is anyone's guess. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
12:13 am	Arrrrrgh Okay, China's human rights record sucks. So does Pakistans, Indonesia, Burma, and MOST of the countries on the Asian rim... and we trade with all of em. Where do you think all that wonderful stuff you buy is from? Four thousand dead in Iraq, and at least 3/4 million Iraqi civilians. Alright, now, tell me who has suffered more? Look, I am not saying 4000 dead is a good thing, I am saying put it in perspective with the TOTAL cost of us being there. Look, I believe that we go to war for 1, ONE, American killed by some terrorist or dictator. However, I want proof six ways from Sunday that shows we are picking the right target. After which, I will agree to bomb em back to the stone age. However, every reason given for the Iraq invasion were lies. And I personally know 28 of those 4000. I think they bled and died in that sand for nothing more than a presidential ego trip. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 23rd, 2008
7:34 am	And people say I am too critical of the human race.... Okay folks, for your amusement..... and to give you some idea about the decline of the human race.... Warning labels: 1) Motorized wheelchair: Not suitable for High speed pursuits 2) Artificial Heart: Not to be used as a penile pump in masturbatory orgies 3) On a rock in Garden center: This rock is not to be used as a flotation device 4) Shure Professional Microphone: Not to be used as an anal probe 5) 55 gallon drum of Nitric Acid: Keep out of reach of children (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
5:18 am	sleep, or the lack there of Most of my friends know that I have pretty much destroyed my lumbar spine. Yes, it was all self-inflicted, I mean, no one twisted my arm to ride bulls, jump out of planes, break horses or just generally do things that are hard on the body.... Over the years, however, I have been looking for the perfect mattress. Well, last year, I finally found it. A queen size air mattress. Not one of those sleep number beds, but an air mattress you can buy at any walmart. However, there is a drawback. It seems that my dogs have this nasty habit of bringing thorns into the house. They deposit them on my bed, and before you know it, bed is flat. Needless to say, I have become an expert at locating and patching holes. Which leads me to problem two. It seems that my room is the official canine wrestling arena in the house, and my bed is the wrestling mat. Now, I have checked the owner's manual and it just says the bed can hold six hundred pounds. However, I do not believe the maker ever tested it with jumping dogs. It is this jumping that is really getting to be annoying, because it is one thing to patch a pin hole caused by a thorn, it is quite another to have to remove patches and repatch areas that have been overstressed by dogs. In particular, one patch. When I put that patch on, I used a different vinyl cement, and you cant remove the patch. However, little areas around the edge of the patch get strained and it starts leaking. 9 patches and only one is a chronic leaker. I have sent the maker a letter requesting that they make a dog proof version of their bed. Increase the thickness of the vinyl by 500% and make better patch kits. FYI, this is the fifth night in a row I have woke up to a sinking sensation and have been forced to spend the remainder of the night patching the bed and letting it dry. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 17th, 2008
10:18 pm	The decline and fall of the human race.... I have heard predictions that the human race will be wiped out by plague, war, famine, and whatever dire and horrible ways that people can come up with. However, I must point out that the human race is going to die from, of all things, stupidity. I have been doing a bit of research, and discovered that with each advance in technology, the level of stupidity for the human race increases exponentially. With the advent of powered flight, men from around the world threw common sense and logic out the window to design better aircraft. Most of them died in flaming wreckage that a Neanderthal would have been able to tell would not fly. As engines for aircraft got more powerful, other men decided that they would work on breaking the land speed record. First with piston engines, then with jets, and finally with rockets. For every record broken, others have died in the attempt. The same has been true for water speed records. Lately, fools have been putting jet engines on boats.... The point is that people are stupid. Sooner or later some fool is going to take an engine that was used by the SR71 blackbird, put it in a vehicle for a land speed attempt, and discover that the engine that was half the power for the very large spy plane is WAY too much to put on anything resembling a car.... Sure they will break the land speed record... and end up in the record books for that and the most spectacular land vehicle crash in history. Headline, Bonneville Salt Flats: Joe Idiot set the land speed record this morning by passing through the course at Mach 2.6, or 2.6 times the speed of sound. However, the vehicle was unable to stop until it hit the side of a mountain 30 miles away, Joe was killed in the collision. This attempt also set the record for the most spectacular auto crash, with pieces of the car landing up to six miles away. In fact, various parts of Joe's anatomy was found halfway up the mountain 4000 feet above the salt flats. Let us not forget the people that, upon hearing a tsunami warning try to get into position to surf or boogie board the wave. Then there are the fools that, swim out side of cages with sharks known to attack humans. The problem is that people who do these stunts inspire copy cats. Spike tv has four different shows dealing with stupid people doing stupid things. Now granted, the skate boarders trying to slide down stair rails and end up straddling the metal rail when they fall on it are not very likely to contribute to the gene pool, but those that survive the head plants into concrete will! I will admit, there were times that I thought Steve Irwin was insane, however, he at least knew the risks, and took all the proper precautions. It was not stupidity that killed him, but a 1 in a million chance strike by the barb on the sting ray's tail. He is probably sitting up in heaven looking down at the idiots who are trying to be what he was and asking Saint Peter, "Uh, mate, will those people be allowed into heaven?" To which Saint Peter will answer, "Yeah, the boss looks out for fools, so we take em. They just have to spend eternity walking around with a sign that identifies them as STUPID" Of course, there is the case of the well known underwater film maker and ichthyologist who once commented in response to the question, "You rarely use a shark cage when filming sharks, what do you you do to prevent your being attacked?" "I try not to look or act like whatever the sharks are feeding on." Now, sharks are known to bite anything when they are feeding, if they dont like it, they spit it out and go looking for something else. Just how in the hell do you 'not look like whatever the sharks are feeding on,' when sharks are, by nature, opportunistic predators? I mean, that sounds like avoiding attacks by large crocodiles and alligators by 'not looking like meat.' Of course, there is the case of the guy that lived with Grizzlies in Alaska, he and his girlfriend became a meal for some bear. Yes it was a sad thing, but it could have been prevented by sleeping in a cabin instead of a tent. Sorry, but canvas or nylon will not keep out large animals. They wont even keep out ants. And of course, there are the people who purchase million dollar homes in areas that used to be, and still is the habitat for large felines. And they scream about the lack of protection when one of these predators kills a jogger, bicyclist, or unfortunately, a child. Look, all you people in California who are buying these houses, Cougars cannot read. They have no clue what the signs mean that state, "ACME homes Rancho Buffet development." All they know is that a bunch of two legged things came in, bulldozed their habitat and put up these boxes. Okay, so there are no more dear, but a lot of these two legged things go running along these trails. People, cougars chase things that run. They kill things that run. In fact, if it looks like meat, smells like meat, it is meat, that is their simple philosophy on life. As far as they are concerned, that housing development is one big grocery store. Now, I am not saying that not everyone is incapable of living in great outdoors. But, if the habitat is not completely destroyed, the odds are that the big cats, wolves, etc will not bother you, unless you do something dumb. The same is not true for the ocean. People, in case you havent noticed, ocean side towns and cities happen to be built at the mouths of rivers, creeks etc. This is the habitat for the Bull Shark, aka the Zambezi (so named for the river in Africa where bull sharks are known to kill hippos.) Now, humans have a nasty habit of dumping stuff in the water, meat processing by products, i.e. BLOOD, or unusable parts of animals... which of course attracts the bull sharks in large numbers. So, you have a nice town, enough stuff to draw sharks as well as beach goers, and when these two species interact, the shark gets a free lunch, or at the very least a snack. In Hawaii it is the tiger sharks, same problem, with the same result. Now there are ways to prevent shark attacks. In Australia and South Africa, they use bubble nets. Sharks dont like bubbles. So they stay away from the beaches. (Comment on this)